Breakthrough

by Christine Gast

Let me start by setting the stage: I started a new job on February 1st, and although I am really excited about the role and the impact I can have, it has also been extremely overwhelming. While learning the job, I was also in the process of trying to get everything ready to launch a year-end performance review program to 90,000 employees, as well as trying to prepare for that same population to set goals for the upcoming year following a massive reorganization and culture change. It was long days and a lot of hours – including evenings/weekends, which is in conflict with my personal values – and it was an immense amount of pressure and stress. Also in the month of February, my dog got in a fight with a neighbor dog and needed to go to the doggy ER and wear a cone for a couple weeks, my son got a cold (which in any other year wouldn’t be a huge deal, but because of the COVID precautions he had to stay home from school for 3 days), my daughter had an ongoing cough from something that’s been irritating her throat, and at the end of the month I found out that my grandpa was going into hospice care – and although he lived an incredible life and was 103 years old (yes 103!), and we had been expecting this for a while, it didn’t seem to make it any easier. That sums up my month of February. I don’t share this to complain or for attention – in fact, I know how blessed I am to have a job, children, and a grandpa who lived a long, incredible life! But I share all of this to simply demonstrate and acknowledge that many different factors can compile, and all combined can start to feel very overwhelming.

I was feeling so overloaded, and one night in early March, after getting off an evening work call, I was mourning the impending loss of my grandpa, reflecting on how many hours I’d been working, how I was missing out on time with my family, how I had cried multiple days in a row, and how I felt like I was having a “breakdown” of sorts. I had a song in my head that I thought said something about “I’ve been headed for a breakdown” and couldn’t remember how it went, so I searched for it and didn’t find it. Then I thought maybe it said “headed for a breakthrough” so I searched for that. And I didn’t find the song that I was looking for, but it’s funny how God leads us to things we aren’t necessarily looking for. The top search result was a song called “Breakthrough” by Chris McClarney, so I took God’s lead and I listened to it. I felt like it not only hit on what I was feeling in that moment, but also many of the things I’ve been thinking about and reflecting on over the past year.

I think sometimes our breakdowns become breakthroughs.

As the chorus of the song says:

Take me from where I’ve been into something new. I’m giving up control. I need a breakthrough. All of my dreams and fears are crashing into You. You’re waking up my hope. You are my breakthrough.

God and our faith can turn our breakdowns into breakthroughs. God is our breakthrough.

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Hebrews 4:12, ESV (English Standard Version)