I was asked several weeks ago if I would share a devotion of affirmation. I wasn’t sure if I understood what that meant. I googled it to make sure I knew what was required of me. I do not walk around my home affirming myself. Yet there are some truths that are imbedded in my soul. These truths did not happen overnight, but during my life’s earthly journey. Mark Twain once said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why,” explaining that he believes there are several “days you find out why” throughout a person’s lifetime.
I am thankful that I was born, and I will feel incredibly blessed when and if I discover why. I believe that
I have had a few hints along my way.
I was introduced to the Prayer of Jabez during a bible study over 30 years ago. It touched my heart and changed forever the way that I pray.
1 Chronicles Chapter 4: 9-10
Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that your hand would be with me, and that you would keep me from evil.
I felt empowered by the words as I read and re-read the text. To pray to God that he would bless me was unthinkable. It meant that I was selfish. I prayed for forgiveness and for God to bless others. It is explained that to bless in the biblical sense means “to ask for or impart supernatural favor.” When we ask God for blessings we are asking for God’s will for our future.
I found a parable that is used to explain the Prayer of Jabez.
“Mr. Jones goes to heaven. Peter is at the gate waiting to give him a tour. There are golden streets, beautiful mansions and choirs of angels. There is one particularly huge building. There are no windows and only one door. Mr. Jones asked if they may go inside. Peter prevents him from entering. However, when the tour is over Mr. Jones asks again if they can see the inside of the building. Peter gives in. Mr. Jones runs inside the building. The building is filled with row after row of shelves, each stacked neatly with white boxes that have red bows. Each box has a name on it. Mr. Jones asks Peter if there is a box with his name on it? Peter tells him that there is a box and Mr. Jones races to the J aisle. He finds his box and lifts the lid. There is a moment of recognition. Inside the white box are all the blessings that God wanted him to have on earth, but Mr. Jones had never asked for them.”
I have struggled with depression for over 40 years. I have felt totally unworthy of love. My mother completely lost her sight overnight because of temporal arteritis. I had golfed 9 holes with her earlier in the week. Our oldest son died in 2003 when his car was hit by a BNSF train. He died with 3 of his young friends. This was followed by a nine-year trial that went all the way to the Minnesota Supreme Court.
I mention this to remind all of us that being a Christian does not mean that there will not be challenges and heart breaks.
When I was preschool age I used to sleep with an angel. I would hold up the covers and scooch to the inside edge of the bed and tuck her in. I mattered.
When I was in elementary school, the sheer drapes in my bedroom were tied back to the window edges. When the moon shined through my window, the silhouette on my wall looked just like Jesus, standing at the foot of my bed in his white robe, His arm’s outstretched as He watched over me during the night. He protected me while I slept. I was safe.
In 6th grade, our Sunday school teacher asked us to raise our hands if we believed we were going to heaven. I was the only one who did not raise her hand. He asked me why I didn’t think I was going to heaven. I told him that I was a sinner and unworthy. He asked me if I believed that Jesus Christ was the son of God. I told him that I did. He said to me, “Cristy, that’s it! It’s that easy! Believing in Jesus Christ, you will go to heaven through God’s love and grace. I have never doubted since that time that I will spend eternity with our Lord and Savior. I belonged.
When I was 60 I met a therapist. She explained to me that there are 3 things a child needs to feel loved: Significant, Safe, and to Belong.
I have had dark thoughts over the years. I don’t understand why my mother lost her sight. My heart is eternally broken. There is not a new normal without our son Brian.
I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe that God is His father and that the Holy Spirit lives in my heart.
I am a child of God. I am worthy of love, happiness and fulfillment. I am loved by God. I am created in His image. I am just the way He intended. With God’s love, I am enough.
God has blessed me with amazing friends who hold me up when I am unable to stand by myself. He has surrounded me with faith filled friends who pray for me when I find myself unable to pray. God’s love is the affirmation that I need.
I am sharing with you the Prayer of Cristy, inspired by Jabez.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please bless me with all the things you have chosen just for me. Increase my world. Take away my fear. Provide me with love, compassion, empathy, wisdom, energy and good health. Help me to serve you and your people through being a good daughter, sister, wife, mother and friend. May the hand of the Lord be with me. Do not let me lose sight of my need for you. Fill me with your spirit. Bless my effort. Lord, keep evil far away from me and those who I love. Prevent me from making the mistakes that I am most prone to make when temptation comes my way. Help me to be watchful. Direct my steps away from all that is not of you. Forgive me Lord Jesus. Thank you for what you are going to do.
AMEN
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