The Power of Presence By Bekah Hirt

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord”. Romans 8:36-39

Do you remember the first time truly being on your own? The time where you truly get to stand firmly in your own decisions or be truly be distant from the life that you knew before? For me, this experience was the first week of college. The excitement and chaos of RAs ushering you in the building, the hustle of move in staff, and the anticipation of starting the next chapter of your life. For most people, when they move to college they feel truly alone, all the people you are going to encounter you are meeting for the first time which can be terrifying if you are not someone who enjoys this part of life. However, for me, I wasn’t in this boat because my childhood best-friend so happened to be on my freshman floor. When no one else was around, she was present. This presence made college go from a crowded and lonely experience to a comfortable and approachable time of transition.

As humans we long for people we know and understand us, for someone to comfort us when things go wrong and to be joyful with us when the world seems the most right. The best people don’t have to be present to have that presence, someone who is a phone call away but feels as if they are right next you. I have come to the harsh realization that you truly don’t understand the power of someone’s presence until they are gone. During times when you feel like you need them most to support you or be near you, they are now where to be found. This can leave us longing for a space where we are known and loved.  As we think about Mental Health Awareness Week, we are reminded of this same power with people who are experiencing mental illness and for those who care for them. Our presence can be the thing they long for most, for someone just to be there and listen. For someone just to take the time and acknowledge them as a thinking and feeling human being.  It doesn’t take much for someone to show up but for some it could save their life.

During some of my lowest days I remember the dreaded questions of “How are you doing?” or “Are you okay?” A fake smile and a response of “I’m fine” or “I’m doing better.” does the trick but in reality, it was “I’m not fine” or “I just wish it would get better, but it won’t!” For many people these questions are a genuine desire to understand how someone you love is doing or to begin a conversation but for others it is another lie you must tell yourself and others in order to get through that day.  For some people when they hear these responses, they end the conversation thinking that the work is done. However, a part of me during moments like this wants to cry out for that person to be patient and present and ask again.

 It reminds me of a time that this truly became known and I finally got what it was like. One of my best friends and I were sitting in the car getting bubble tea as both a tasty treat and a way to catch up after some time of being apart. As we drove, I was asked the dreaded question and in this particular time I was not ready to fake my answer. My mind was in too many places but I couldn’t take our time together to complain about my problems or my mental health so I responded with the best I could. “I’m fine just thinking about some things.” He waited then responded with words that I now use when I ask that dreaded question to others. “I can see, and I feel that you aren’t ‘fine’ and that’s okay. However, when you are ready to talk to me and tell me what is really on your mind I will be here. I will always be here to listen, to talk, or just to love. But remember, I am here.” The two or three minutes at the stoplight were silent but truly changed our entire time together. I felt known, respected, and he was present. This encounter taught me two very important things about being present. One, you don’t have to know everything to help someone feel known. Two, sometimes it is the moment when you are silent that speaks the loudest. After, a couple minutes I began to open up, to tell him about my worries, my doubts, my darkness, and my need for hope and as I talked, I felt better because I felt known and understood.

God is like this, waiting for you to be comfortable to tell him but always present. God is present with us when we ask him to go away or when we feel like we aren’t worth enough to be near him but to God we have and will always be enough. Throughout the Bible God has been with his people during times of celebration and during times of sorrow, and all those in-between. One verse that reminds me to be present for others and of the presence of God is Romans 8:38-39. Paul declares in an exhaustive list about all the things of this earth that cannot separate us from God’s love. God’s love is ever present even when we hide away. Let us, people of Grace, be ever present in our love, in our support, and our understanding for people living with mental illness and for those who are near and far. This presence doesn’t have to end with those that are close to us or like us but for all God’s people. When we take time to be truly present then people see their worth and feel secured so that the conversation can begin.

Ever persisting and present God, Give us your heart so we can be present for those whom you love. Help us to be persistent people of faith so that we may walk with those who are struggling. May we have courage to be with those even when they express, they don’t want us near. Guide us in patience, acceptance, and faith so that we may be a light and place of refuge for your healing in this world. We pray for those who are alone, for those that feel hopeless, and for those where faith seems far way that they might feel your love surrounding them no matter the distance or place. God, we also pray for your people who are recovering and moving towards a place of peace, grant them perseverance and a sense of wholeness during this time. In your precious and ever-loving name, Amen.